Commander James O. Crane

DUmB as F*cK Swine

Thats him on the left ->
Commander Crane is by far the stupidest person on the planet. That’s right, we said it. When he talks to you, it’s as if he’s speaking right through you. He appears to have zero social skills, but I guess it’s a lot to expect a swine to be able to communicate in the human world.

He is the head of the Special Operations Division. The division in charge of handling protests, motorcades, SWAT teams and other ‘special’ swine functions. We’re not really sure how he rose to this position in MPD, perhaps it’s because he’s an old white male. He was oncea captain at 5D.

Within the last 7 years, Commander Crane was committed to a mental institution and has had several mental breakdowns while on duty (all documented through the swine agency). He even had his police powers revoked for some time too. And yet, he’s in charge of both escorting the Prez, handling hostage situations and dealing with large protests!

He has also been known to smoke cigars inside his government issued vehicle.

Commander Crane resides in Woodridge neighborhood at 3130 Monroe St NE Washington DC 20018.

He can be reached at 202-529-5522

This information was found in the white pages (haha, no pun intended). It was cross-checked with this article and then again on the property sales database. All public information.

2 responses

30 10 2011
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