Effective Christmas Day 2009, WartHog Persichini resigns from his post as Head of the Washington DC FBI Field Office! Why do you ask? Because this dumbass cheated on an open book test! Yep, you heard that right. An open book test. Hold on, do we need to say it louder? A freakin O-P-E-N B-O-O-K T-E-S-T
The story:
Persichini was taking an OPEN BOOK exam on the guidelines for conducting investigations when he, and 2 cohorts, Keith Bryars, special agent in charge of administration, and Andrew Castor, special agent in charge of the criminal division, finished the test in under 20 minutes with “very high scores.” The test usually takes the swine and warthogs over 2 hours. It is believed that the three received help from an FBI Lawyer.
The exam, on guidelines for conducting investigations (someone didn’t do their homework), wraps up a 16 hour course in which all FBI Agents, including Robert Mueller himself, and some support staff are required to take. The exam, open book (did we mention that?), allows the pigs to use reference materials…the caveat being they have to do it by themselves.
Clearly, Persichini, Castor and Bryars have some explaining to do. But in the interim, we’re glad there’s a few less pigs roaming our streets. Sadly, they’ll be replaced.
To learn about our reporting on Warthog Persichini, check this out:
